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There ain't nothing wrong with my oversized holiday sweater

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I love sweaters. In high school, faced with the dilemma of keeping my scrawnny body warm, I discovered big woolly sweaters provided incredible insulation. I neglected the fashion of time and amassed a truly grotesque collection of these giant articles of clothing. My mom had to get an extra container for storage solely for "Dave's sweaters." In the past couple years, I've since come to my senses and began getting rid of these cotton behemoths. However, there are a couple that still serve as cornerstones to my wardrobe.



So when Ze Frank charged his viewing audience the task of performing new songs for the holidays, I couldn't help but use the opportunity to express my feelings reguarding this paradox with sweaters. It's the perfect Christmas song - rife with with compassion and holiday cheer.

Huzzah! The song was featured in the intro to the 12-06-06 show

Baby, there ain't nothing wrong
with my oversized holiday sweater
You might think it looks hideous
But I just so happen to like it better
Than that plush fleece zip up I never wore
Than that hip track jacket I never cared for
This is my Christmas treasure
So don't make me part
with my oversized holiday sweater

You tried to donate it away
It's a good thing I went through that box of clothes
Because there's not a chance that
some kid in Malaysia could need it more than me,
oh this I knows

Baby, there ain't nothing wrong
with my oversized holiday sweater
I love how it has the joyful reindeer
Dancing in the snowy weather
It's so comfortable I want to wear it all day
But you'd never let me wear it, while we're rolling in the hay
This is my Christmas treasure
So don't make me part
with my oversized holiday sweater

I let you get away with not shaving your legs in the winter
I act like I don't mind but it truth it creeps me out instead
Snuggling with a Yeti never topped my list of things to do
I figure if you tolerate the sweater
then we're even stevens we're cool

Baby, there ain't nothing wrong
with my oversized holiday sweater
I only get to wear this one month a year
So please don't ruin this December
I'm this close to finding another girl via Craigslist
Who loves a man in wool and won't get pissed
when he wears his Christmas treasure
So don't make me part
With my oversized holiday sweater